On a Discourteous Damsel that call'd the Right Worshipful Author-(an't please ye!) Sawcy Puppy.
A PANEGYRIC.


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  • Ugly! ill-natur'd! impudent, and proud!
    Sluttish! nonsensical! and idly loud!
    Thy Name's a ranker Scandal to my Pen,
    Than all thy words could be spew'd up agen.
    Yet will I do thy Ugliness the grace,
    To touch thee, tho' I'm forc'd to turn my face;
    Touch thee as Surgeon touches rotten sores,
    Touch thee as Nurses T--, or Beadles Whores.

    Belch of a Toad whom Hell to Mortals sends,
    Vampt up from Bottle-Ale and Candles-ends.
    Hadst thou no Dick with whom thou mightst be free,
    Thus to let fly thy Whetstone-jeers on me?
    What Skip-kennel without his eyes offence,
    Taught thee all this Dog-and-bitch Eloquence?
    Thou for Doll Troop, hadst ended Ragoo's strife,
    He'd hang'd, and never ventur'd such a Wife.

    That thick deformity which daubs thy Snowt
    Would make a Hell-soul'd Ravisher devout.
    An Incubus from such a Face would flee;
    'Twould baulk a Satyr more deform'd than thee.
    E'ne get a Mask, or with thy Visage daunted,
    The Londoners will swear their Streets are haunted:
    Below the Plague, below the Pox and Itch,
    Take your own Farewell, You're a sawcy Bitch.

    © Copyright 2000, Nick Page