I did Sir Thomas a disservice in my book. Amidst all his ridiculous genealogies, mathematical works, and proposals for new kinds of languages, he actually wrote a book which was adequate.
Admittedly it was mostly someone else's work, in that it was a translation of Rabelais's 'Gargantua and Pantagruel'. But to be fair to him, it was praised for its style and it certainly survived in print for many years.
All of which does not detract from the fact that the rest of the time, this Scottish eccentric wrote utter drivel.
He is particularly famous for his completely made up words. Here, for example is an extract from his mathematical treatise, the Trissotetras:
In amblygonosphericalls, which admit both of an extrinsecall and intrinsecall demission of the perpendicular, nineteen severall parts are to be considered...
The axioms of plain triangles are four, viz. Rulerst, Eproso, Grediftal and Bagrediffiu.
The directory of tis second axiome is Pubkegdaxesh, which declareth that there are seven enodandas grounded on it, to wit, four rectangular, Upalem, Ubeman, Ekarul, Egalem, and three obliquangular, Danarele, Xemenoro and Shenerolem.
With refreshing honesty, he admits that hardly anyone will understand him:
"The novelty of these words I know will seem strange to some, and to the eares of illiterate hearers sound like terms of conjuration..."
This book is so bad that the editors of Urquhart's 'Complete Works' felt they had to apologise for including it.
His other works include proposals for a new language (although he described the language in detail, he never actually got around to providing any actual words) and a genealogy which shows that his family tree stretched back to Adam and Eve... and beyond.
Knighted in 1641, Urquhart lived most of his life in the shadow of debt and bankruptcy. He died in 1660, in 'a fit of excessive laughter, on being informed by his servant that Charles the Second had been restored to the throne.'
